The Inner Thoughts of Todd Jumper

The Dangers of Aspartame Research Paper

nicemassage@gmail.com (Todd Jumper) — Mon, 06 Oct 2008 18:57:00 +0000

I just finished up my final paper for school in my Comp II class. We were to write an argumentive topic. I could have done better but had some laptop issues over the past weeks. The entire paper is below. I feel this is a very important topic if you are concerned about health issues.

Final Project: The Negative Effects of Aspartame
Todd Jumper
Kaplan University

CM220-07
Professor Sandra Maenz
October 5, 2008

The Negative Effects of Aspartame

These days a lot of people are becoming more health conscious. Consumers are becoming more careful with their diets, from eating organic foods, to watching sugars, hormones and other chemicals. They may drink a diet soda from time to time, believing it’s better for their health, and assisting in weight loss. But there are times when they may have turned around that can of pop and seen a warning about Phenylalanine, but not knowing what it is.

We often think if we don’t know what is in our food, maybe we should not eat it, and we are probably right. Aspartame, containing Phenylalanine, and products for human consumption that contain Aspartame should carry a warning label. The consumer should be able to make the decision for themselves to cause possible damage to their bodies from ingesting this nuero-toxin, rather than unknowingly partake of it.

Aspartame, an artificial sweetener, which is found in most diet beverages and sugarless gums, breaks down into methanol or wood alcohol, which despite some medical doctor’s claiming its safety, in mass quantity, is actually toxic.

The most common side effect of ingesting Aspartame is frequent headaches. A consumer may also begin to notice mild depression kicking in after a few days of consuming large amounts of diet soda. According to Dr. Jacob Stechschulte, this sweetener has caused migraines in youth and young adults. He also states that upon consuming aspartame, it is broken down and converted into formaldehyde through our body tissues. (2006, Jacob SE, Stechschulte S.)

Over all, the average consumer is unaware that too much of this neurotoxin will cause cellular death in the brain from neurons being too excited. (1998, Dr. Janet Hull) Further research has shown neurotoxins in our food are partly the cause of hyperactivity, ADD/ADHD in children and adults. While these neurotoxins have not proven deadly in laboratory animals, such toxins have been proven fatal in pre-natal studies. It is a possibly that pregnant women who ingest large amounts of diet beverages could potentially harm their unborn child or miscarry. (National Toxicology Program. ; Oct, 2005)

More over one of the biggest problems our children face today is the overdose of sugar in soft-drinks, so parents have instead moved onto sugarless drinks, with artificial sweeteners and colorings hoping to keep their children from becoming hyper. Instead due to their lack of knowledge regarding aspartame, they may have instead intoxicated their children as a result given them ADD/ADHD.
“…studies of the relationship of sugar to ADHD have typically used far smaller quantities of sugar than a child ingests in a can of soda … have used aspartame, a known neurotoxin as a placebo control for sugar in beverages: and have failed to consider the possible effects of artificial colorings and flavorings in sugared beverages.” (2008 Dr. Carolyn F.A. Dean, M.D., N.D)

Aspartame, one of the sweetest food ingredients, but also one of the most toxic, was denied by the F.D.A. to be allowed for human consumption for over 11 years. Finally after giving into pressures by government and a huge monetary profits, the Reagan administration approved Aspartame after letting go the Surgeon General who opposed it.

Thus Aspartame has been the subject of debate and great controversy, with the primary argument going against the Food and Drug Administration who approve of aspartame being a safe dietary supplement despite all the evidence to the contrary. If aspartame was proven to be toxic and a cause of cancers, ADD, depression and so forth, major companies such as PepsiCo and Coca Cola would be the subject of class action lawsuits for poisoning it’s consumers for years.

Such Web sites as WebMD.com claim it is completely safe, while not listing any studies of research showing otherwise or ignoring known facts about the chemical sweetener. But incongruently, as sites such as WebMD deny Aspartame causing harm to the body, within their own Web site they readily admit that Aspartame may cause or worsen the effects of illnesses such as Fibromyalgia. “…Aspartame (NutraSweet). All the experts WebMD talked to agree that for a large majority of people with fibromyalgia, foods sweetened with aspartame could exacerbate fibromyalgia symptoms.” (2008. WebMd.com)

Despite most medical doctors who will go along with the Food and Drug Administration in claiming the use of Aspartame is not dangerous, many doctors are coming forward with opposing evidence to the contrary. Many people consume diet foods and soft drinks believing or told by medical doctors, that these products are beneficial for health, when in actuality the FDA denied approval of aspartame for 16 years. The FDA succumbed to pressure from political advocates of the product and economic pressure and huge payouts finally allowed aspartame to be added to our foods. . (Mercola, Dr. Joseph; Sweet Deception, 2006, p. 53).

Another major controversy regarding Aspartame or NutraSweet is that it may cause cancer. This has been a subject of debate for several years. Results with laboratory mice have been inconclusive for the most part, while most experiments have not shown cancer in mice, tumors have been shown to form, as well cancer has been found within pre-natal mice. According to Regist, in a 1981 study, where aspartame was fed to rats, most of the two year cancer studies proved inconclusive or were considered to be negative in rodents, but neoplasms did form in the brain. (Fed. Regist., 1981a, b)

The average consumer would benefit from understanding the chemical makeup of Aspartame. When ingested and exposed to heat of the body, (or 83 degree farenheight,) it breaks down into methanol. This is toxic to the human body and is not meant for consumption.

This leads to another controversy regarding this is the possible poisoning of our American troops during the Gulf War due to high consumptions of diet sodas in the desert heat, mixed along with other chemical components and body stress. This may have caused what is known as Gulf War Syndrome.

The symptoms of Gulf War Syndrome when comparable to aspartame poisoning are almost identical. Migraines, depression, fibromyalgia, to chronic fatigue and memory loss are just a few of the similarities. Carol Guilford, a medical doctor, claimed in 2007 that aspartame poisoning and GWS are one in the same. According to her research around 45,000 to 100,000 of our troops from the Gulf War are now suffering from aspartame poisoning. (2007, Carol Guilford, M.D.)

Despite the claims that Aspartame is not cancer causing, coincidentally breast cancer has been greatly on the rise since the year Aspartame was introduced into food. The American Cancer society claims breast cancer cases have doubled since 1981, the same year NutraSweet was introduced.

Since NutraSweet’s introduction, years later many people are suffering from different types of cancers, depressions and mental disorders that are on the rise. Take for example, the experience of the Jumper family, from results of years of ingesting aspartame laden products. Deciding to avoid sugary products and caffeine for better health, they turned to drinking diet, caffeine free products on a daily basis. Ten years later, the mother of the family now suffers from depression, extreme fatigue and muscle and joint pain due to fibromyalgia. The father also now suffers from severe depression, diabetes and OCD, all of which are claimed to be side effects of aspartame poisoning.

Some medical doctors claim the side effects of ingesting aspartame go well over 100 symptoms, mostly based on patient complaints and independent studies. Side effects range from; burning urination, brain fog, chest pain, cough, fatigue, mucus buildup, depression, fibromyalgia, headaches, hives, insomnia, joint pain, rashes, tachycardia, thyroid problem, and even weight gain. Due to the body’s digestive system not properly digesting the artificial sweeteners, instead of losing weight from the non-caloric beverages, the body is confused into gaining weight.
In 1999, Sandra Cabot, another medical doctor, claimed that aspartame actually causes weight gain by other mechanisms in confusing the body. Diabetics are still at risk as well as the artificial sweetener can cause unstable blood sugar levels. As a result there is fluid retention and cellulite increases. (Sandra Cabot, M.D, 1999)

In conclusion, to this day Aspartame is very controversial among scientists and medical doctors, with manufacturers backed up by big funding and misleading information. Some feel the product should be banned from foods, while others claim it’s completely a safe additive. As long as the government backs up those who believe it is safe, the F.D.A. will continue to allow this toxin in our foods and drinks. Advertisers of their diet products continually find new misleading ways to get consumers to buy their aspartame laden drinks, even to the point to promote adding vitamins to soda to make them appear healthy.

Take Diet Coke Plus for example, a soft drink advertised as soda with beneficial vitamins to encourage people to drink it. Little do most people know that these are not only manufactured vitamins, but that the carbonation and liquid quickly destroys the vitamins on the shelf before they are ever consumed.

More consumers need to be aware, with at least warning labels on these products so that the consumer can make their own choice to partake in something that may have long term negative side effects and illnesses. Changes need to be made and doctors need to stand together and challenge the claims of the F.D.A., as more consumers become health conscious, with many turning toward organic foods, it may not be long until the dangers of aspartame are finally exposed.

References
Mercola, Dr. J., Pearsall, K., Sweet Deception: Why Splenda, Nutrasweet, and the FDA
May be Hazardous to Your Health. Published by Thomas Nelson Inc,. (2006), Nashville, TN.
Russel A Blaylock, Excitotoxins: The Taste That Kills (1996) Health Press, New Mexico
Stechschulte, Jacob SE
May-Jun, 2008 ; Formaldehyde, aspartame, and migraines: a possible connection.
Department of Dermatology and Cutaneous Surgery, University of Miami, Miami, FL, USA. National Do Not Call Registry (n.d.). National Do Not Call Registry. Retrieved

Hull, Dr. Janet, Sweet Poison, How the World's Most Popular Artificial
Sweetener Is Killing Us New Horizon Press (September 1, 1998)

National Toxicology Program. ; National Toxicology Program. ; Oct, 2005 ; NTP report
on the toxicology studies of aspartame (CAS No. 22839-47-0)

Carolyn Dean, MD, ND; A Complementary Approach to ADHD
http://www.drcarolyndean.com/articles_adhd.html [ Web site ]

Aspartame (NutraSweet™): Is It Safe? (Book). ; Mott, Evelyn L. ; Library Journal ; 02-1-1990 ; 03630277 ; Reviews the book "Aspartame (NutraSweet™): Is It Safe?" by H. J. Roberts. ; P ; 115

Bowen, James D. M.D.; Billions of People are Now Aspartame Victims
http://www.rense.com/general21/billionsofpeople.htm [ Web site ]

My HP Pavilion 9720 Laptop Sucks

nicemassage@gmail.com (Todd Jumper) — Wed, 01 Oct 2008 08:30:00 +0000

Ok so I am at the end of my finals for my 4th term in school with two papers left to write, in the middle of all this my fairly brand new HP Pavilion 9720 lovely looking 17 inch screen laptop started crashing in August.

I sent it back at the end of August under warranty to repair 3 problems. It was overheating really bad, so bad that as soon as you plugged it in, it burned your hand. At the same time a dang black spot appeared on the screen. Dreaded dead pixels! Nothing I did would get rid of them. And my final problem, watching videos, DVDs, YouTube, Movies, would constantly crash the computer to a dead halt, screen savers would crash it in the middle of the night.

So I am over a month behind on three pieces of art work for clients who have already paid me in advance...

I get the laptop back and nothing, I mean absolutely nothing was fixed by HP, it looked like it had not even been touched.

So I send it back a second time at the end of September here. I am excited today to get it back, in what looked like brand new condition. The monitor replaced, its not overheating. I start trying to catch up on my homework. Load up a video my grandma just emailed me on YouTube, and guess what. Not a blue screen, not a black screen. But this bullshit.

This will be my third time I would have to send it back, under warranty sure it is, but I have finals due tomorrow! Damnit!

I am going to attempt to take it back to Circuit City before work tomorrow as they told me 3 attempts at fixing it by HP and they will replace it. They better do something...

Grrr... Frustrated.

My recommendations, HP repair service sucks. The laptop is nice when it is working properly, but I highly recommend going with someone else if looking to buy a new laptop.

Unecessary Force

nicemassage@gmail.com (Todd Jumper) — Thu, 04 Sep 2008 04:22:00 +0000

Try JibJab Sendables® eCards today!

New Soul Portrait - The Big Top

nicemassage@gmail.com (Todd Jumper) — Mon, 18 Aug 2008 03:54:00 +0000

I just finished up this latest soul portrait which is probably one of the most complicated ones I have done yet.

Most of the ones I do are nature scenes, but this one caught me off guard, a lot of it I had to paint by hand, except the circus clowns and bleachers I had to purchase models for - crap. Hope I get reimbursed!

I easily spent about 10-12 hours there about on this one. Enjoy- click the link below to comment at my webshots.

http://outdoors.webshots.com/photo/2039148510095511721dGBRRb?vhost=outdoors

More on T-Mobile- Finally they are getting sued!

nicemassage@gmail.com (Todd Jumper) — Sat, 26 Jul 2008 02:45:00 +0000

I was able to get out of my contract, while others cannot, very incongruous and dishonest company. I received my last bill for one month of service, and it was for $139.00, when one bill is $29.00 a month plus taxes. This included almsot 40 dollars in texting fees to phone numbers who I do not know. I simply refuse to pay them, after all my contract was terminated, and they did not provide me service at my home for 2 months.

Now they are finally getting sued and I hope big time.

http://redtape.msnbc.com/2008/07/when-marco-zald.html

Finally free of T-mobiles money pit

nicemassage@gmail.com (Todd Jumper) — Thu, 03 Jul 2008 07:48:00 +0000

T-Mobile now allowing early cancellation of service without fee depending on coverage area

I just got out of my T-mobile contract WITHOUT the 200 dollar insane service fee. Which they told me before was impossible. But now they are saying if you are only getting 1 bar where you live, you can legally get out of the contract and cancel immediately. I lived in Harrisburg, PA where my signal was constantly dropped inside my own house. In May I moved to Hummelstown, PA which is pretty populated only 3 miles from Hershey Park, cell phone towers are within walking distance of my new house.

Yet I could not get calls, and my signal would jump from 1 bar to 4 bars, to no signal at all depending on the wind.

On top of that I was only on the 29.99 basic plan, 3 months out of this year I got my bill to see it anywhere from 79-100 dollars for one month! Phone calls were on my bill I never made, did not even know the people yet my cell phone was always in my pocket at those times.

This month I had over 30 text messages starting at the same exact time each day at 8am when I am still sleeping, over 15 dollars in messages I did not make, and the best thing yet, the phone number the messages went to was a land line, that just so happened to be the first person in my contact list on my phone (this also happened to two other family members)

So I finally got out of the contract from Hell, but they are demanding I pay this months past due bill of 101 dollars when I only owe them 29 plus taxes. They also claimed I was over my minutes when I have my bill and usage right in front of me showing only 200 out 300 used.

I said you believe me that I cant receive or make calls and have no signal but yet at same time claiming I have made over 400 minutes in calls lol People in my house who know me know I do not even talk on the phone much at all, at the most 10 minutes a week.

T-Mobile not only has terrible coverage, they are theives, period.

I have paid almost 500 dollars this year in overcharges that were not done by me. Faulty phone and sim cards, a terrible company to deal with, when they know the prices of gas are already hurting our pockets. Cmon now.

T-mobile needs a mass lawsuit. I want my money back.

Spooky: Stealth Plane Landing in Harrisburg, PA?

nicemassage@gmail.com (Todd Jumper) — Fri, 22 Feb 2008 03:48:00 +0000

There is some strange stuff going on right now. I've been hearing reports from friends across the country of some meteorite activity, some rather large ones coming into the atmosphere and exploding in the sky. Actually one was recently caught on a security camera by the National Guard.

http://www.spokesmanreview.com/media/video/?ID=1559

There is DEFINTELY something secret going on, or I just happen to bein the right place at the right time.

I live near Harrisburg / New Cumberland, PA with a view of the famousThree Mile Island.
Well on the way home tonite, I came out of Giant Food grocery, whichis at the very end of the airport landing strip that is part ofHarrisburg International.

I was outside with two teenage boys who were pushing carts and theywere watching some military helicopters circling the area really fast,and very loud.

They were commenting on how loud they were and said "they must betrying to guide someone in for a landing."

Suddenly the helicopters left the area, and I looked up to see alarge black triangle coming in for a landing.

It looked like a stealth plane.

It had absolutely no sound, dead silence. There was only onenoticeable white light on the tail and it almost looked as if thelight was separate from the air craft following behind it.
As well it was coming in very slow, so slow you wonder how somethingthat big would not fall out of the sky.

Just glided on in there and I watched it land.
It was actually quite spooky / UFO like.

Here is a picture that very closely resembles what I saw tonite in NewCumberland, PA around 8:30 PM EST

This is almost exactly what it looked like, strange that this is the UK version.http://i.n.com.com/i/ne/p/2006-2/1212taranisbig_550x389.jpg

Now I was not aware we had technology for something so big to make a silent landing like that, and to go that slow. And I doubt if I called the airport if they would admit something, but to land in such a busy commercial area over a heavily populated town is strange.

Todd Jumper

New Artwork / Book Covers

nicemassage@gmail.com (Todd Jumper) — Wed, 23 Jan 2008 07:04:00 +0000

Been busy the past week working on artwork for clients. One is a soul portrait based on readings done by MicheleLivingston.com the other is for a book cover. I call it the Gateway. Where does it go? ;) The book does not have a title yet.

The third is a redo of a piece of art I did 5 years ago, called A New Beginning. A new heaven and a new earth. This is for a book called La Sixéme Clef, published in French Canadian.

Do not use my artwork for commercial purposes, permission must be obtained for any printing, or I'll sue ya , hahaha ;) I work hard on this stuff.

Enjoy
Todd

To move on or not?

nicemassage@gmail.com (Todd Jumper) — Wed, 02 Jan 2008 06:20:00 +0000

When I said "moving on" I actually meant I was moving on, waking upmore spiritually, and then when I did so it seemed she regressed.Instead of moving on with me, chose to make choices that were againstthe teachings in the scriptures and LWE. Yea I know I get "thou shallnot judge" but that does not mean the things she did were "ok."

Her choices may have been "free will" but they altered everyones lifepaths not just her life path, and while she tried to make a "positive"choice, her choice has brought everyone involved more depression andpain including our children. She herself is in more depression thanwhen we were married. As I say "whatsover choice is good, cometh ofGod and brings Joy, whatsoever is wrong and brings despair is not ofGod. By this is simple way to judge"

I have been asked numerous times, why I have not "let her go." Ithink because everytime I try to, something happens that stops me,including intervention from the spirit realm which is often confusing. When she at first felt her heart was not in the marriage anymoreabout 2 years ago, her spirit kept visiting me during sleep and toldme to wait for her heart to come back to her and to be patient and notgive up, that her energy would balance out and the marriage would behealed in time.

2 mediums told me part of her Love / heart left and taught me some meditations to bring it back to her body.

My oldest daughter came to me crying one night claming she "had adream while awake" that her real mother was being held in a jail inthe spirit world and these bad spirits would not let her home, and shewanted to come home to me.

I had a dream one night a UFO was hovering over the house, and thesemen in black came and took my wife, then replaced her with a personwho looked just like her. Strange thing is Carrie said she had thesame dream, that these men took her and replaced her.

So for a year or so I believed something happened to my wife but havecome to terms with her heart just changed somehow. But her habitschanged, the music she listened to change, people she hung out withchanged, all of this within 1 year, and it was overwhelming to me atall the changes that took place in such a short time that I becameangry and dramatic.
So each time I try to let her go and move on something spiritual happens.

For instance just today I walked into the bedroom at my mothers housewhere I sleep. I keep photos of my children on a nightstand where Ilook at them before I go to bed. I also keep a picture of Carrie andI sitting on a porch swing with big smiles on our faces, the first daywe started seeing each other 10 years ago.

Well I was on my way out of the room today and came downstairs to siton the couch when I heard something crunch in my left pocket.

I opened the flap to my coat pocket and reached inside and there wasthe picture that I just saw on my nightstand in my pocket!

How it got into my pocket I do not know, there was no one else in theroom with me.

So if I truly am supposed to let her go, why does Spirit keep playingthese games with me?

Todd

Dream of Soul Journey

nicemassage@gmail.com (Todd Jumper) — Sat, 08 Dec 2007 15:02:00 +0000

I had an interesting dream the other night. In the dream I went on a soul journey to find answers to my current situations, this was a few days before some of these weird events happened this week.

In the dream I left my family to trek up a snowy mountain to find a sacred cave, finally at the top of the mountain I found it.

I went through a hallway filled with different records, the first part was ancient but when I got to the end looked futuristic with screensand walls with moving pictures.

As I was walking down the hall I was asking for Jesus, when a hispanic man came out and said "Hello I am Jesus (Heyzoos)" I said "haha very funny."

I then proceeded on to the center of a room with had a symbol on thefloor of a triangle with three circles around it, like form of star of David.

It was there one of my angelic looking spirit guides appeared, withhis white robes on, his white hair, his peircing blue eyes.

I recognized him right away and called him by name and then asked whatconcerned me most if I had truly lost my soul mate.

He replied "You have not lost her, you are just about to move on tosomething greater which instead she would hold you back."

He said "You know in your heart already that you are not to be marriedagain, that is not why you are here."

He shown me there would be struggles before things got back on track,but said to your own self be true, we will be here to help you.

I then left the cave and came back down the mountain where I collapsedand left my body. There I saw my ex and my family find me andthought, I had died, frozen and face down, with my eyes fixed.

Suddenly I was back in my body with a glow about me and they stood back in amazement.

End of Dream

Help Me out For Christmas :) I’ll help you make money off Ebay.

nicemassage@gmail.com (Todd Jumper) — Thu, 15 Nov 2007 15:40:00 +0000

Christmas is coming fast, and I find myself currently unemployed at the worst time of year. I am doing what I can to sell off E bay, things here and there.

I have currently lowered the price on the EBook I am selling that teaches you the methods to make a successful business selling off Ebay, if you want to make a few extra hundred dollars a month on Ebay or more depending on your resources.

I have lowered the price of the E-Book to $5.00, if you do not use E-Bay but have Paypal I can send you the book via email.

I need help saving up money for my kids Christmas this year, so far I have not been able to get much of anything for them. Going through a divorce and losing my job in October is taking its toll on me.

If you are willing to help a single father of three out. Check out the link below. I guarantee this guide /Ebook will help you make money on the internet.

My goal is to sell at least 25 copies before Christmas.

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&rd=1&item=300155901102

Thanks for looking. Or if you do not want the book, I can donate a copy to someone.
If you would just like to donate use the paypal link above or below.
Thanks! Anything will be of help.

Todd

Future Telling - Weird Gift

nicemassage@gmail.com (Todd Jumper) — Wed, 14 Nov 2007 03:17:00 +0000

I've been recently experiencing some psychic or mental ability that comes and goes which I am sure everyone at some point in time has had happened and just laughed it off.

For example, you said something, and within seconds it was repeated on TV or the radio, you shake it off as coincidence and laugh. It's usually just one or two words.

But lately this has been happening to me almost everyday, not just radio and TV, but road signs or even other people talking around me. It's more than one or two words, sometimes its an entire sentence.

Last week I was at someones house talking to them about my current situation, that something recent had upset me, and I layed awake in my bed the whole night crying.

Within 2 seconds, someone on the Maury Povich show on TV said "I layed awake in my bed the whole night crying."

We looked at the TV and both said what the hell?

Tonite I was sitting in the car with my brother and was thinking about a dream I had recently, where it seemed I had time traveled in the dream.

Just after I thought the words "Time Travel" my brother turned on a random song on the radio and the singer sang "Time Travel" real slowly. Never heard the song before in my life.

So how this works I am not sure. Is it coincidence, is it psychic. Do radio / TV signals pass through part of our brain faster than it gets to our ears?

Now if I could only see the freaking lottery numbers.

Somewhere In Time

nicemassage@gmail.com (Todd Jumper) — Tue, 13 Nov 2007 18:46:00 +0000

... well I thought I was moving on but I must have had a mental relapse over the weekend.. but it seemed to be some type of spiritual emotional release.. Either that or I time traveled, lets just say it was a very vivid memory..

As my current situation goes, currently in middle of divorce. This experience I had during sleep, is similar to others I have had over the past year or so, but nothing this intense, every time I thought about it I started crying, in fact almost wrecked in the rain last night I was so overcome with so much grief.

10 years ago. I am pulling up outside her apartment. I just helped her move in a week or so before. I see her look out through the curtain, she is waiting anxiously for me. I have the letter she just wrote me sitting in my passenger seat. She signed it "Your eternal companion."

I walk to the door and she opens it up with the biggest smile on her face. I am saying to myself in my mind, "Turn back now, this isn't real."

But everything feels right, seems real. I think I am awake, but I also have a full knowledge of the present.

She seems so happy to see me, even put on makeup, light blue eye shadow, and she smells good as she pulls me close. We sit down on the couch and talk for the longest time. The kids are gone for the weekend and we have it all to ourselves.

She asks me whats wrong, why I don't seem as happy to see her. I tell her, I don't want to hurt you, I want this to last forever, but I know it doesn't. I've seen the future and you leave me in it.

She looks at me and says I could never leave you I love you too much, I've never loved anyone so much, how can you accuse me of doing this.

I drop the discussion and just enjoy the rest of my time with her, everything seemed real, its as if I was given one last opportunity to relive that day.

Later we are laying in bed together, and she is stroking my hair and singing to me, although she has changed the lyrics a bit. She tells me every time she hears the song she thinks of me, and that this song is for me.

"If you could only see the way he loves me
Then maybe you would understand
Why I feel this way about our love
And what I must do
If you could only see how blue his eyes can be when she says
When he says he loves me..."

I then start crying and say this hurts too much. I am sorry I hurt you. But you do leave me in the future and its more than I can bear.

She urges me not to leave, and says just hold onto my letter.

I am sucked back to reality 10 years later with my 5 year old waking me up to watch TV.

I go to the bathroom and break down. Later that day I returned the letter to her that sat on my empty passenger seat.

I feel like I am stuck in an alternate reality...

My Transformers Devastator on Ebay

nicemassage@gmail.com (Todd Jumper) — Sat, 03 Nov 2007 22:28:00 +0000

I am selling off one of my best Transformers on Ebay- a hard to find Constructicon Devastator. I intended on collecting this, but once again I find myself broke and I need to save money up for Christmas for my kids. I still have not yet found a steady job since being let go earlier this month.

This is a rare hard to find toy, mint condition and comes with all instructions.

So if you can bid high, the money is going toward my kiddos ;)

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&rd=1&item=300168248581

Happy Trick or Treat

nicemassage@gmail.com (Todd Jumper) — Fri, 26 Oct 2007 03:00:00 +0000

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The kids and I went out trick or treating tonite. I had a hard time keeping up with them and our parties got separated. So I just tagged along behind Jacob wearing my Optimus Prime helmet, making it talk for kids who saw me, and making other adults laugh when I used my voice changer.

Here are some pics of my kids in costume from tonite.

Q & A : Intelligence and Spiritual Evolution

nicemassage@gmail.com (Todd Jumper) — Wed, 17 Oct 2007 19:20:00 +0000

In RESPONSE to a question on a question regarding the Christian or rather Mormon doctrine that those people who are mentally challenged or handicapped, are highly evolved souls who are automatically protected from sin / granted immediate access to heaven etc.

===============

I believe most of those doctrines are solely the creation of man to make people feel special, more or less politically correct spirituality. While every soul, and every intelligence, is not judged and the same unto God, to claim they must be highly evolved spiritual beings, because they are mentally challenged is a polite formality for not understanding their purpose in life.

True, they may be highly evolved, and chose upon birth to inhabit a body that would have limited mental or physical capacity but for the most part this choice to do so is simply a learning experience for that soul / incarnation, as well most of them do it for karmic reasons / lessons as well.

Quite simply in a previous mortality that person may have taken care of their parents, and now they are reversing the role in that another is taking total care of them.

Just as well that spirit may be less evolved, more childlike and is here solely for the purpose of being an observer of human nature, having the human experience without all the dramatics that most of us have, and choose for their own learning as a spirit to have that simple yet difficult lifestyle.

Or they are here to teach others simply LOVE, unconditional love to those around them. A lesson some people must take a lifetime to learn, tolerance and unconditional LOVE.

Acceptance for who a person is despite their limitations.

There are some here who still need to learn that lesson of unconditional love.
Especially those who truly desire to gather Zion. One can not gather a community of acceptance and Love, if they go around belittling their fellow human being,
or purposely insulting their experiences or for who they are.

Zion will never be gathered by those who can not get along well with fellow man.

On 10/17/07, Davidporter*@*

Slightly changing the subject, this topic has been on my mind for a while and I invite everyone on the board to comment or give their opinion.

Do you believe, in the doctrine, that the intellectually impaired (mentally retarded) are here to get a body. That God holds them close and dear, to his dominion, because of their efforts and obedience in the war in heaven or great council?

How many believe that the genes one receives in their mortal body is a reflection of his spiritual intelligence.

Did we agree to occupying a body of dominant genes, that were impaired, or is it the luck of the draw?
Can the church teach both doctrines- meaning that we should seek individuals of the highest quality of physical and mental abilities, and breed with them, yet suggest those who posses impaired or retarded genes are just as great to God and they are of highest quality in the pre-existence? Can we say don't marry this particular person because their IQ is below average, yet tell that person whom you've rejected "you were a warrior in heaven"?

Any comments?

Flouride and the Pineal Gland

nicemassage@gmail.com (Todd Jumper) — Tue, 02 Oct 2007 03:03:00 +0000

**********************************************************
Fluoride Accumulates in Pineal Gland

Fluoride, added to the water supply of many cities and counties and sold by WalMart in its nursery water, has a tendency to accumulate not only in developing teeth causing discoloration, and in bones making them brittle. The mineral is associated with cancer and it also accumulates in the pineal gland, an important hormone control center, where it wreaks considerable havoc. Paul Connett of Fluoride Action Network comments on Jennifer Luke's research which was part of her PhD thesis and had just been published in Caries Research under the title: Fluoride Deposition in the Aged Human Pineal Gland.

Fluoride is a poison, yet we add it to our water and toothpaste and even call it a supplement, although it has no nutritional value. Its medicinal value - the prevention of tooth decay - is the official explanation for adding the toxic mineral to the water supply. But that value is far outweighed by its toxic side effects - amply documented by Paul Connett in his Statement of Concern.

Recent European Union legislation on food supplements lists fluoride as an essential element to offer for supplementation. This is somewhat ironic when contrasted with the European legislators' feigned concern over the putative toxicity of vitamins and their efforts to limit dosages of these vital nutrients in order to "protect public health".

We also use fluoride in many household items, such as non-stick frying pans, high-tech water repellent fabrics and others. Recently, at least some timid attempts to start assessing the disease burden caused by fluoride are under way. The Journal of Water Health carries an article on this research. Meanwhile in the US, the FDA has decided that fluoride should be allowed in bottled water, perhaps in deference to WalMart's offerings.

The use of fluoride for "health" reasons is one of the great insanities of our times. Could it be just by chance that the Germans and Russians both used fluoride to make prisoners stupid and docile or that the US government faced legal action over the toxic effects in the environment of this nuclear waste by-product?

Perhaps the push for 'enriching' our water and our foods with fluoride has some ulterior motive that has little to do with health. Be that as it may, the campaign for fluoridation is stil in full swing and health authorities are pushing the poison as if their monthly paychecks depended on it.

Jennifer Luke's PhD thesis on fluoride and its accumulation in the pineal gland - Paul Connett says that research might just be the scientific straw that breaks the camel's back:

- - -

Fluoride & the Pineal Gland: Study Published in Caries Research

The wheels of science grind very slowly. Finally, the first half of the work that was the subject of Jennifer Luke's Ph.D. thesis; presentation in Bellingham, Washington (ISFR conference) in 1998 and a videotaped interview I had with her (see www.fluoridealert.org/videos.htm), has been published in Caries Research.

In my view this work is of enormous importance and could be (or should be) the scientific straw that breaks the camel's back of fluoridation.

When Luke found out that the pineal gland - a little gland in the center of the brain, responsible for a very large range of regulating activities (it produces serotonin and melatonin) - was also a calcifying tissue, like the teeth and the bones, she hypothesized it would concentrate fluoride to very high levels. The gland is not protected by the blood brain barrier and has a very high perfusion rate of blood, second only to the kidney.

Luke had 11 cadavers analyzed in the UK. As she predicted she found astronomically high levels of fluoride in the calcium hydroxy apatite crystals produced by the gland. The average was 9000 ppm and went as high as 21,000 in one case. These levels are at, or higher, than fluoride levels in the bones of people suffering from skeletal fluorosis. It is these findings which have just been published.

It is the ramifications of these findings which have yet to be published. In the second half of her work she treated animals (Mongolian gerbils) with fluoride at a crack pineal gland research unit at the University of Surrey, UK (so there is no question about the quality of this work). She found that melatonin production (as measured by the concentration of a melatonin metabolite in the urine) was lower in the animals treated with high fluoride levels compared with those treated with low levels.

Luke hypothesizes that one of the four enzymes needed to convert the amino acid tryptophan (from the diet) into melatonin is being inhibited by fluoride. It could be one of the two enzymes which convert tryptophan to serotonin or one of the two which convert serotonin to melatonin.

Significance? Huge. Melatonin is reponsible for regulating all kinds of activities and there is a vast amount of work investigating its possible roles in aging, cancer and many other life processes. The one activity that Luke is particularly interested in is the onset of puberty. The highest levels of melatonin ( produced only at night) is generated in young children. It is thought that it is the fall of these melatonin levels which acts like a biological clock and triggers the onset of puberty. In her gerbil study she found that the high fluoride treated animals were reaching puberty earlier than the low fluoride ones.

We know from recent studies - and considerable press coverage - that young girls are reaching puberty earlier and earlier in the US. Luke is not saying that fluoride (or fluoridation) is the cause but her work waves a very worrying red flag. Fluoride's role in earlier puberty needs more thorough investigation. Of an interesting historical note, in the Newburgh versus Kingston fluoridation trial (1945-1955), it was found that the girls in fluoridated Newburgh were reaching menstruation, on average, five months earlier than the girls in unfluoridated Kingston, but the result was not thought to be significant at the time (Schlessinger et al, 1956).

When one considers the seriousness of a possible interference by fluoride on a growing child's pineal gland (and for that matter, elderly pineal glands) it underlines the recklessness of fluoridation. The precautionary principle would say, as would basic common sense, that you don't take these kind of risks with our children for a benefit which, at best, amounts to 0.6 tooth surfaces out of 128 tooth surfaces in a child's mouth (Brunelle and Carlos, 1990, Table 6).

I have a copy of Luke's Ph.D. thesis and would be willing to share it with those who have a serious scientific interest in this issue. The other references cited above can be found in my Statement of Concern which is published on the FAN webpage: http://www.fluoridealert.org/fluoride-statement.htm

New Web Page

nicemassage@gmail.com (Todd Jumper) — Sun, 03 Dec 2006 01:52:00 +0000

Yea I have been away for months. I missed my old blog, I doubt anyone was reading it.

I graduated from school in October and have ever since been looking for a job, not much luck yet but I am in the meantime trying to build up clients. I finished my massage website this week.

Visit it here at http://toddjumper.com/massage/

I really miss friends from school, that part of my life went by too fast. While I wish other parts would speed up to my liking. It's almost Christmas yet again and I am looking forward to it. I do not know what I want yet, although a massage chair could be nice.

I've been on Celexa for a month or two now, seems to be keeping me calm, but I don't like being so tired from it during the day.

I just got some pinched nerves fixed at the chiropractor but my left hand is still falling asleep as I sit here typing, nerves take some time to heal.

Nothing else that spectacular going on. I was separated from my wife for most of the summer, currently living with her again. No hokey pokey goin on but at least things are calm and I am around the kiddos.

Catch you later.
Todd

Ok Im not really dead

nicemassage@gmail.com (Todd Jumper) — Fri, 04 Aug 2006 15:10:00 +0000

In class yesterday we did a "brain" excercise where we had to draw with closed eyes on paper, then in our designs try to find at least 3 animals, and then write a poem about it. I ended up finding a Cobra (Asp), Elephant, and Dove. Ok so here's the poem already everyone seemed to like it.

'do not fear'

Alone, the giant sleeps
calm in the bush
unaware of the serpent's tail,
that did sneakingly swoosh.

But soon, the anger of the asp
that snuck through the grass,
shall awaken the slumber and slunk
of the elephant's trunk.

He stampedes and he sneers
at the hiss from his rear
But he is too large, to just disappear...

Then from above,
a flutter he hears.

To be quickly calmed,
by the coo of a dove,
at his ear.

Whispering softly to the giant,
"There is nothing to fear."

The End

So what's the poem say to you. Reminds me of going through life feeling nothing is wrong, when suddently out of nowhere something disturbs you, almost as if violently, and when you panic and think you have no where to turn, that reserve silence, spiritual or emotional kicks in and tells you, you will be ok, and if it was not for the experience you may not have noticed the dove at all if you remained asleep.

nicemassage@gmail.com (Todd Jumper) — Mon, 10 Jul 2006 01:49:00 +0000

'What will your obituary say?' at QuizGalaxy.com

Happy July 4th

nicemassage@gmail.com (Todd Jumper) — Tue, 04 Jul 2006 12:32:00 +0000

Hope everyone is having a good holiday and got to see plenty of fireworks and didn't choke on any hot weiners ;) I think I've had enough burgers for awhile.

It's my second day of separation. I'm living at my mother's house in Harrisburg. I'm not doing too much for the holiday. I went down to the river yesterday with Katie and Gma, but it was so hot there and not much to do except listen to really loud music, I ended up with a migraine that started by losing vision in my right eye.

Nothing exciting much going on. Kinda boring here and not much scenery outside to absorb in.

I'm not used to being here yet, I want to go home at the end of the day then realize I can't so I just plop down and go to sleep. I get my hair cut on Wednesday then gonna go check out the Giant in camp hill - I heard its nice.

Here's an Elvis song my grandmother sent me that she felt as if I wrote the words to it, I've never heard it before, then I do not listen to much Elvis.

Do You Know Who I Am

Do you know who I am
Have you have any idea who I am
Yes it's been quite a while
And it's so good to see you again

It's so dark in this place
That I can't see your face
May believe Oh I see
Does he know who I am
And what once was between you and me

Do you know how I tried
Have you any idea how I tried
Not to keep you in sight
Do you know darling how much I cried

I remember you said
That you had to forget about me,
and be free
Do you know who I am
or have you forgot about me

Do you think there's a chance
You and I could start over again
Is there a prayer you still pray
Or has it just been too long and we're through

Well, what about you and him
Oh he's only a friend
Well I see there's still a chance for me

Well maybe some other time,
in some other place
With our love in your heart
and a smile on your face

You will know who I am
When that time comes you'll know who I am
You will know who I am
When that time comes you'll know who I am

The One

nicemassage@gmail.com (Todd Jumper) — Thu, 22 Jun 2006 19:06:00 +0000

This goes out to the Universe and to anyone,

I come from a dimension other than this, a place of love
where there are no hurts or or distress.
I was, am a being of light with nothing but my hand
and my heart to offer you in times of plight.

I know I've been down and self-burdened a lot
but all I want is for life to give me some comfort
and to enjoy the little things and the only family I got.

I feel alone in this world,
and misunderstood, and I seem to have lost the one
who I always knew could, make me smile,
and make me feel important.

All I want is for someone to understand who I am
to accept me for that, and not to be selfish
but for me to be their focus.

I don't have much in physical means to offer,
but I have all the love in my heart,
that I will always be there no matter what.

I want happiness for myself and my children,
to be good dad and raise them in a God loving home.
I wanted my soul mate to raise them with me,
but perhaps I should have not asked for her,
because the pain has almost been the end of me.

But I will not give up, I am stronger than that,
I am here for a divine purpose and to help others.

I want someone who sees me for who I am,
and not some distorted negative illusion.
I am a good person, I am a good husband,
I am a good dad, and I have nothing but love to offer.
I love God and I love my family.

I am always willing to listen and hear
whatever you have to say, and to my best
give advice in anyway.

I want someone who needs me in their life
who wants a best friend.

A best friend will not ever tell you they
dont want to be with you.
A best friend will never put you down.
A best friend will never ask of you,
to do something that will cause you pain.
A best friend wouldn't ask you
to separate yourself from your children.

I feel not only have I lost the connection
to my true love, but my best friend as well.
Of which be assured times have been hard
but I feel I did not do anything to deserve
this pain or this loss.

I am not going anymore to ask why,
even though to anyone that is a common response.
Why do we lose a loved one out of the blue.
Why did my cat get hit by a car God?
Why did I lose my job?
Just things any NORMAL child would ask a loving God.
We all wonder why bad things happen to good people,
its the natural part of life.
I will not be made to feel like I am treating myself as a victim.
I am not! I am a being of light and love who has been rejected and mistreated.
It's only natural to be hurt, to not understand why people act the way they do.
It's only natural to have a hard time to get over someone you would truly die for,
who you would leave behind anything to save.

Anything I've done its been in love.

I want someone who wants to have a happy life
who is honest and true, compassionate, God loving,
who wants to be my equal and not try to have power over me,
who truly is my equal and not claiming I am lower than them.
I want someone who puts me and my kids first in their life,
someone who will raise them with me, not apart, but together.
Who has the same goals in life, to be a loving family.
Someone who is willing to rub my back after I rub theirs.
Who is not selfish, asking me to do everything for them,
but not offering anything in return. Even a TRUE friend,
would offer comfort when its needed.

I am so disappointed that I have lost my truest friend,
I ever had because of misconceptions in their mind,
Because they have felt other things were more important,
than raising a loving family together.

LOVE is simple, LOVE is EASY. Love is not selfishness.
When you truly love someone you look past their faults.
I want someone who can look past my faults, because,
I never willingly ever hurt another person,
and it pains me to know I supposedly hurt the one,
the one I took before God in heaven and earth,
to be with for eternity.
But everything that has a beginning has an end.

I will continue on, trying to hold my head high,
and let people see that I am strong,
and who truly is the weak one.
My kids are my life, and they grow so fast.
But I want someone to be there, to enjoy them
with me before that's over too.

I had what I wanted and asked for,
and God sent it to me.
I'm not going to ask why I seem to have lost it
when I need it most right now.

Because God knows what best
and through adversity we shine
Someday the one I want will see me
and remember who I really am.
And I won't judge her then.
I will welcome her home with open arms.

Shock to the System aka Job from Hell

nicemassage@gmail.com (Todd Jumper) — Wed, 21 Jun 2006 19:58:00 +0000

I've started on my second week of my new job at FedEx, I don't know what I was thinking signing up there other than the $11 an hour on my mind, and I wanted people to be proud of me that I finally got out an got work, but I'm close to saying screw them.

Everyone I talked to beforehand said the job was really hard and didn't recommend I do it if I am not used to the labor. But I did it anyway. I've lost 5 pounds in the past 3-4 days, probably mostly sweat. They have me working on 4 trucks bouncing back and forth at the same time, and all the belts / chutes trucks are all backed up like crazy, and most of the time I am by myself when I thought I was supposed to have someone work with me, but the dock manager took all the guys down to other trucks that were too busy. So Monday I ended up with chest pains into my hands, my mouth, head began hurting, I got dizzy and almost passed out twice. Kept loosing my footing. By 8 Pm I could barely lift anything my arms wouldn't lift above my head. Then I started hallucinating, the numbers on the labels were moving around, the abbreviation for a state changed twice on me as I looked at it. Then I looked outside and saw a spider but it appeared to be huge and flying up in the air twirling around, then I threw up twice.

The most I can compare it to is walking non stop for 4 hours, while getting boxes thrown at you in every direction, bruises all over, while noises and some guy yelling over the speaker system non stop. It literally feels like getting beat up while being yelled at. And all the energy I soak in from all the different packages, its so fast paced but when I do get time to think, I just get so angry about that and things going on in my personal life that my system just totally shut down when I got home, and I wanted to drown myself in the bathtub.

People tell me the first 2-3 weeks are brutal so hopefully I can stand it that long. I could barely sleep all I kept seeing were packages coming non stop.

I'm overloaded I feel I could crack any day now.

I feel so bad lately, physically, emotioanlly and mentally.

How much more shit can I take God?

post deleted

nicemassage@gmail.com (Todd Jumper) — Wed, 21 Jun 2006 19:58:00 +0000

there was a post here. but I deleted it for reasons beyond my control.

Letting Go

nicemassage@gmail.com (Todd Jumper) — Fri, 02 Jun 2006 00:31:00 +0000

I want to be the one
to stroke your hair
to touch your face
but I can no longer
be that one to wipe your tears
in this time and place.

I want to be there
to pick you up
to end your pain
to keep you warm
through the coldest rain
but I just seem to cause

you more harm that I cannot explain

I must let you go
to fix your dreams
I must let you go
to heal this sting
that my selfish words have caused
and my ignorance brings

I must let you go
to heal your heart
I must let you go
to set you free
or it will tear us apart
and I don't believe that is to be

I must let you go
so I can grow
and find my strength
and perhaps I will
find a greater purpose
behind all this angst

I feel like I am losing
my closest friend
so I must let you go
before that ends.
I can not destroy you
or myself, but must be
apart so we can mend.

So I must let go
and move on to save me and you.
even though the future is not certain
I must trust myself and God again
that he will see us through.

If I truly love you
as I do, more than anything.
Then I will let you go
and hope for you that peace
and sanity it will bring.

As above, so below,
I feel now it is God's will
and in my best interest
to let you go.

Perhaps some day

I will regain your trust

and your faith in me

but for now I must

do as you ask

and set you free.