Once, while I was reading through the Apocrypha, I came across a story involving a young man, who an angel named Raphael had guided to a beautiful woman, whom he was prompted to marry.  He was quite scared at the prospect though, having heard that all her previous suitors had died trying to do the same thing, and so to relieve his worries the Lord revealed that he had no need to fear, he wouldn't come to any harm, "for she is appointed unto the from the beginning." (Tobit 6:17)
 
It seemed to me this passage was suggesting that such a relationship was fore-ordained (or planned) in the pre-existence, and I began to wonder whether it was possible that many other couples were similarly 'meant for each other', or if that incident was just an exception.  It seems from the testimony which has been left to us by one
of the Prophet Joseph's wives, she too was chosen before this life to be sealed to him:

"Joseph said I was his before I came here." Mary E.R. Lightner, BYU, February 8th, 1902.

The question remains though whether it is possible that a great many of us had such an opportunity to choose our spouse at that time, and it seems that he also at least implied (although somewhat indirectly) that there was the chance:

"We also heard him say that God had revealed to him, that any man who ever committed adultery in either of his probations, that man could never be raised to the highest exaltation in the Celestial Glory.  And that he felt anxious with regard to himself and he inquired of the Lord, and the Lord told him that he, Joseph, had never committed adultery.  This saying of the Prophet astonished me very much.  It opened up to me a very wide field of reflection.  The idea that we had passed through a probation prior to this, and that we must have been married and given in marriage in those probations, or there would be no propriety in making such an assertion." History of Joseph Lee Robinson, 12.

That Joseph Smith taught the idea of our being able to sin in our first estate, and that such transgression as adultery is unforgivable are both corroborated in many of the contemporary records of his views.  So is we are to accept this account as accurate, such a conclusion as the one Brother Robinson reached seems inescapable:  To be unfaithful in our affections to another of the opposite sex in the pre-existence, would surely necessitate that we were already committed to someone else as our
partner.
 
Another way to show that this principle is not just a misunderstanding gained by someone who misheard a sermon, is to see if his successors (being called to perpetuate his teachings) also declared the same doctrine to the Saints.  It would seem to me from the following passage that they did:

"Adam and Eve had children in the spirit, and their children married (brother and sister), then the bodies followed."  Teachings of Pres. B. Young, Oct. 6th, 1854, (Thomas D. Brown).

I find it hard to put any other meaning on such a sentence than that the spiritual children of God while in that state married each other, and only then did they come to this planet.  One early Church leader claimed a vision of how this was God's intention from the beginning:

"Again, He [Jesus] spoke to me and said:  'Look and see man as he came forth.'  I looked in the direction indicated and saw an innumerable line of God's children extending further than I could see.  they were arranged in pairs, male and female, and passed in front of the Eternal Father who named them; and they were clad in long white robes with girdles tied around the waists; each pair seemed to have been created mates." A Vision given to Mosiah Hancock, from his Journal, 1855.

Who is to say that such an order was not also extended to the planning of parents, and the children that would come through us? Abraham (3:14,23), Mary (Mosiah 3:8), and Joseph Smith Sr. (JST Genesis 50:33) all seem to be examples of parents chosen before their mortal probation to give birth to special children.  John Taylor seemed to certainly see this idea as more than a possibility:

"Thou being willing and anxious to imitate them [those who went before you to earth], waiting and desirous to obtain a body, a resurrection and exaltation also, and having obtained permission, madest a covenant with one of thy kindred spirits to be thy guardian angel while in mortality, also with two others, male and female spirits, that thou wouldst come and take a tabernacle through their lineage, and become one of their offspring.  You also chose a kindred spirit whom you loved in the spirit
world (and who had permission to come to this planet and take a tabernacle), to be your head, stay, husband and protector on the earth and to exalt not have such a choice though, for President Taylor speaks of 'having obtained permission', this is confirmed by Joseph Fielding Smith, who believed that though it happened only applied
to a minority (Way to Perfection, 44).
 
We cannot judge others though, and suppose that because we see in them views, or actions we don't approve of that this definitely must mean they did not have the opportunity to choose, for in this life many of us also do not take the chances that are put before us.
 
Another possibility we should consider is that for some persons to obtain the advancement and experience they desire or will need to fulfill their purpose on earth, this could entail an upbringing that may seem a hard one, with specific challenges they will be able to learn and grow from.  Abraham is an example of a righteous prophet with idolatrous parents (Abraham 3:5-7).
 
Despite the knowledge the early prophets in this dispensation seem to have had in these matters, yet modern authorities seem to be reluctant to commit to any certain view.  The official policy on this subject being currently as follows:

"We have no revealed word to the effect that when we were in the pre-existent state we chose our parents and husbands and wives." First Presidency, June 14th, 1971.

I realize now that I am not the first member to speculate on these matters, and have since heard them brought up in Institute, Sunday School, and Elders Quorum classes many times.  Musicals such as Lex D'Azevado's "Saturdays' Warrior", and books like Jack Wayland's "Charlie", or "Added Upon" by Nephi Anderson (1898), which though the Church refuses to officially endorse, still have been a great success among members in capturing their interest and stimulating them to study in this area.
 
It has never been enough for me to keep wondering on any subject and never knowing the answer to a question, so the little that has been compiled together in this article is the result of my ongoing search to find all that the Lord has revealed to his prophets and inspired men on this, and many other matters.  I hope that it has provided you with some answers if you've ever been interested about these things yourself, or created that feeling if you haven't considered them before.

Enoch Theos